(single light on the speaker. The tone is soft, searching. They speak as if to someone who may or may not be listening.)
SPEAKER:
(quietly)
Oh, my heart breaks again,
for no reason.
Like a tide that returns without season.
No moon to beckon.
No wind to explain.
Just the soft ache that falls like rain.
(pause)
It starts with a sudden soft aching,
and it aches more.
I tried to conceal it.
But it breaks.
(small voice)
It did break.
(looks up)
And I felt it.
Wherever I am now, beyond or in time,
beneath yesterday’s dreams.
I felt the tremble in your ribs,
the way you held your own chest
like maybe, just maybe,
it would hold the pain in place.
(beat)
I am the name you never learned.
The hand that never reached you.
I’m the almost.
The soul written into your silence.
(steps forward, slow)
Is this the life I chose?
The wrong path,
where every turn bent away from you?
Every mile took me farther
from the voice I’ve never heard
but somehow mourn?
Did I miss you,
not once,
but over lifetimes?
I walk roads lined with almosts.
My fingers brush
the hem of a presence
that turns
before I can say.
(softly)
It was always you.
It was always you.
The echo in songs I never understood
until the sorrow made sense.
The stranger in dreams
whose face blurred,
but whose absence, I felt.
I searched in moments.
Late-night streetlights.
Hands I held too long
hoping they’d turn into yours.
you were the warmth that never arrived.
The letter never written
but always read.
(long pause)
And now I wonder,
is fate just a beautifully wrapped mistake?
A trick of timing?
A cruel rhythm where our hearts
beat in perfect sync
but always in separate rooms?
(stares into distance)
Still,
I leave my windows open.
My silence wide.
Just in case your soul
drifts close
on some invisible wind.
Do I keep waiting?
Or do I run?
why was my heart made for you
if you were never mine?
Why does it burden
my little life.
this quiet, breakable life,
every time I imagine you
in some little house by the sea,
opening a book,
finding me
in the ache between the lines.
(beat)
Do you think I’ve gone mad completely?
(soft smile)
No.
Not mad.
I’m just feeling a feeling.
Take my words for me.
So I don’t say another.
Take my soul.
To anywhere,
anywhere in the universe
where you are
and I am
at last.
What is love
if it’s only fog,
unbearable to walk through.
and I don’t even get
a glimpse of you?
Not your hand
on a window frame,
not your voice
in the spine of a book,
not your breath
in the wind.
Then what do I do
with this heart
that folds itself
each night
like it’s preparing to be held
by someone
who isn’t coming?
(whispers)
Let me dissolve.
Not in grief,
but in the soft knowing
that somewhere,
in another version of this life,
you reached me.
You knocked once,
and I opened.
We said nothing.
We just knew.
(silence)
And maybe, that’s all love ever was.
Not the meeting.
Not the kiss.
Not the keeping.
But the recognition,
that I was always written
in your favorite lines.
And you,
in mine.
(Lights dim.)